It’s no secret that over here we’ve been dealing with secondary infertility, which is, in layman’s terms, not being able to conceive after having a successful pregnancy or live birth. Trying to conceive and dealing with infertility after pregnancy is tough. Since it’s National Infertility Awareness Week, I saw it fit to include advice and tips from an infertility expert, Mindy Berkson, Founder of Lotus Blossom Consulting.
“My goal is to thoroughly
comprehend my clients’ needs, enabling me to successfully address the
financial, physical and emotional stressors that often accompany the family
building process. Providing uncompromising guidance and support, which
surpasses their expectations, is truly rewarding.” —Mindy Berkson
Eighteen years ago, Mindy Berkson was confronted with her own infertility struggles after having a successful first pregnancy. Eventually, like me, she was diagnosed with secondary infertility. Over several years’ time, she went through numerous insemination cycles (IUI) and several in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycles before becoming pregnant with twin boys. Treatment was difficult, both physically and emotionally. Going through all of this instilled in her a desire to help others through their own infertility struggles, which eventually led her to start her own company, Lotus Blossom Consulting. Here are the lessons she learned, not only from her own fertility treatments but also from the sum of over seventeen years of experience working in the industry.
Lesson number one: Have an Open Mind.
It’s so important to never lose sight of the family-building goal. This doesn’t mean you won’t grieve. It just means that the focus needs to shift to being open and receptive to the possibilities. With technology and science, we are so fortunate to have opportunities! The pathway to parenthood just may be different than what was originally planned.
Lesson Number Two: Build the Foundation for Infertility Treatment
Financially, physically and emotionally. Become your own best advocate. Know what questions to ask each industry professional or seek the help of an infertility consultant to help guide you with an insider’s approach to maximizing your chances of success. Making informed decisions involves educating yourself about your diagnosis and the available treatment options for your condition. It means realistically analyzing the chance of success for each treatment option in light of your financial situation.
Do your Insurance Homework
You want to ensure that you maximize all your lifetime health insurance benefits. Plan for multiple cycles to rebound in the event of a failed attempt. If you are using a third party, identify the best possible resources for donors or surrogates. Identifying a candidate that closely meets your criteria affords a confidence level for the cycle, and with resources available nationwide, there is no need to settle for a candidate.
Lesson Number Three: Remain Hopeful
Everyone experiences infertility in a different way and at different times. The greatest advice I can give is to find what works best for you. For some, it may be finding a support group; for others, it may be seeking out an individual counselor. Communicate honestly and openly with your partner and share all the ups and downs of the journey. Above all, remember to be patient and kind to yourself. Stress will never positively affect the outcome. Remaining optimistic, while being prepared to continue your fertility journey, will remind you to stay focused on what’s most important – preparing for your baby.
About the Author
Mindy Berkson is an infertility consultant with 17+ years of
helping intended parents. She founded her consultancy, Lotus Blossom Consulting after she had her own experience with infertility and felt a total absence of resources to help her navigate the complicated process or even just to help her know the right questions to ask. Now considered an expert in the industry,
Mindy has been that resource for thousands of intended parents; gay men, lesbian couples, heterosexual couples, and both single men and women. More than
700 babies have been born as a result of Mindy’s resources, knowledge, and experience.