Not everyone is familiar with the term rainbow baby, and that’s a good thing. However, some of us aren’t as fortunate. You see, a rainbow baby is a baby born after experiencing a loss during pregnancy or after giving birth. My husband and I now have two. For those of us who have experienced a loss during pregnancy or after the birth of a baby, a rainbow baby is the symbol of hope; the calm and happiness after a storm. Nothing can quite prepare you for a loss, and no one can understand how you feel unless they have been through it themselves. It will affect people in different ways, but there will be some similarities in the journey and the overall feelings you might be having. With that in mind, here is what you can expect when you’re expecting a rainbow baby.
Related: Trying to Conceive After Experiencing a Miscarriage
Expecting a Rainbow Baby Can Be Filled with Anxiety
Pregnancy can already be an anxiety-filled experience. Now add to that a history of miscarriage whether early on in pregnancy or much later into your journey, you are bound to feel worried. Being pregnant with a rainbow baby is not easy. Your history of losses can increase anxiety even more. For me, anxiousness arose every time I used the bathroom. I wondered, “Will I see blood?” You may also experience feelings of worry and dread. Anxiety can affect us all in different ways, and while the reason will be the same, how you feel might be completely different. You might feel panicky, worried, upset, and sad, even though being pregnant is supposed to be a happy time. No matter how you feel or how it will manifest make sure you give validity to your feelings. It is important so that you can come to terms with it and overcome the worry.
Pregnant with a Rainbow Baby? Expect More Doctor’s Visit
From experience, with a history of unexplained miscarriages, I’ve had to have more doctor’s visits and ultrasounds than with a regular pregnancy. There may not have been a reason why you experienced the loss of a baby, but you may need to have additional doctor’s visits with your obstetrician or maternal-fetal specialist to ensure that your baby is growing well. If anything, this can give you greater reassurance and peace of mind that things are going according to plan. At least, this helped me.
Not Everyone will Understand or Say the Right Thing
Remember, not everyone has experienced a loss in pregnancy, which makes what you’re going through even harder. Now everyone will know what to say or when to say things. Try your best to give them the benefit of doubt. Keyword: try. We all know that there can be insincere comments made when you lose a baby in pregnancy or just after giving birth. The comments may continue throughout the pregnancy. People may want to dismiss your worry or anxiety. However, the likelihood is that they won’t understand how you feel, and so it is important to not take some things too personally. Trust me, it will be hard. But you need to validate your feelings. Talking to your partner or people you know who will listen and understand your concerns will help you through the pregnancy.
Related: Supporting Family and Friends Through Loss
The main thing to remember is to have hope. After everything you have been through, your rainbow baby is on its way.
