Monica J. of
So Family Online is a fellow Essence Mom.
She and her significant other have are in their mid to late 30’s, and have been
trying to conceive for a year; however, due to a recent surgery, they have to postpone TTC for 6 months.
Did
you tell people you’re trying to conceive or did you keep it a secret?
you tell people you’re trying to conceive or did you keep it a secret?
It was a secret at first, but eventually
I spoke to family members about it because I knew something was wrong when I
wasn’t having any luck conceiving.
I spoke to family members about it because I knew something was wrong when I
wasn’t having any luck conceiving.
Do
you feel pressure from your spouse, family or friends to have a baby? If so,
how does that make you feel and how do you deal with it?
you feel pressure from your spouse, family or friends to have a baby? If so,
how does that make you feel and how do you deal with it?
I
do feel slight pressure from family members, but I don’t believe they realize
that they add pressure. They are all just excited about us possibly creating a
new life and growing our family.
do feel slight pressure from family members, but I don’t believe they realize
that they add pressure. They are all just excited about us possibly creating a
new life and growing our family.
When
did you realize you were unable to conceive naturally? How did you feel?
did you realize you were unable to conceive naturally? How did you feel?
I believe everyone’s journey to
conceiving is different. I’m at the point in my journey where I haven’t been
told I can’t conceive naturally, but I’m aware that I’ve hit some bumps in the
road. I have an amazing doctor guiding me through this important time in my
life. Due to a large fibroid pushing on my left Fallopian tube I was experiencing problems with conceiving. I also lost my right ovary 2 years ago,
so it’s extremely important that my left ovary and Fallopian tube are free from
obstruction. My doctor believes this may have been the reason I have not been
able to conceive. I recently had all of my fibroids removed.
conceiving is different. I’m at the point in my journey where I haven’t been
told I can’t conceive naturally, but I’m aware that I’ve hit some bumps in the
road. I have an amazing doctor guiding me through this important time in my
life. Due to a large fibroid pushing on my left Fallopian tube I was experiencing problems with conceiving. I also lost my right ovary 2 years ago,
so it’s extremely important that my left ovary and Fallopian tube are free from
obstruction. My doctor believes this may have been the reason I have not been
able to conceive. I recently had all of my fibroids removed.
How
does the word ‘infertility’ make you feel?
does the word ‘infertility’ make you feel?
The
word infertility scares me. It doesn’t make me feel there are no options, but
it definitely brings up feelings of frustration and nervousness.
word infertility scares me. It doesn’t make me feel there are no options, but
it definitely brings up feelings of frustration and nervousness.
What
do you believe is the biggest misconception about infertility?
do you believe is the biggest misconception about infertility?
The
biggest misconception about infertility, in my opinion, is that women have no
options once that word is introduced.
biggest misconception about infertility, in my opinion, is that women have no
options once that word is introduced.
How
has infertility and TTC affected your personal relationships?
has infertility and TTC affected your personal relationships?
It has made me more aware of my body,
the process of conceiving and it has allowed me to share my story with other
women. This journey has also opened me up to talking to other women and
listening to their stories. I have learned so much from other women.
the process of conceiving and it has allowed me to share my story with other
women. This journey has also opened me up to talking to other women and
listening to their stories. I have learned so much from other women.
What
have you learned about yourself and personal relationships through this
journey?
have you learned about yourself and personal relationships through this
journey?
I have learned that I’m much stronger
than I thought. My relationship with my significant other has become stronger
and he’s been my strength when I’m down and constant support system.
than I thought. My relationship with my significant other has become stronger
and he’s been my strength when I’m down and constant support system.
Who
has been your biggest source of strength and support throughout your journey
TTC?
has been your biggest source of strength and support throughout your journey
TTC?
My
significant other and my mother.
significant other and my mother.
How
do you deal with the stress of TTC?
do you deal with the stress of TTC?
I
make sure to communicate with my family, friends and those around me. I also
relieve a lot stress through dance classes. It feels good to release stress on
the dance floor to the beat of drums. I love West African dance.
make sure to communicate with my family, friends and those around me. I also
relieve a lot stress through dance classes. It feels good to release stress on
the dance floor to the beat of drums. I love West African dance.
What
would you tell other women and couples struggling with infertility and losing hope of ever getting pregnant?
would you tell other women and couples struggling with infertility and losing hope of ever getting pregnant?
There
is always another way. Things may not go the way you planned it but never give
up and be open to listen to different options.
is always another way. Things may not go the way you planned it but never give
up and be open to listen to different options.
Why
do you think it’s important for you to share your story about infertility and
TTC?
do you think it’s important for you to share your story about infertility and
TTC?
It’s
important to know and understand the struggles of other women and for women to
know they are not the only ones dealing with complications. Someone may learn
from my story, because I have learned from so many other women.
important to know and understand the struggles of other women and for women to
know they are not the only ones dealing with complications. Someone may learn
from my story, because I have learned from so many other women.
Is
there anything you would have done differently?
there anything you would have done differently?
No,
absolutely not. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. This is the
path in life I was given and I’m taking it.
absolutely not. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. This is the
path in life I was given and I’m taking it.
You may connect with Monica on the
following social networks:
following social networks:
If you’re interested in having your
story featured, check out my post “Resolve
to know more…” . I’m still recruiting people to [anonymously]
interview to raise awareness during Infertility Awareness Week, which is April
20th – April 26th. Visit NIAW Blogger’s Unite Challenge to read more blog posts on the theme: “Resolve to know more…”
story featured, check out my post “Resolve
to know more…” . I’m still recruiting people to [anonymously]
interview to raise awareness during Infertility Awareness Week, which is April
20th – April 26th. Visit NIAW Blogger’s Unite Challenge to read more blog posts on the theme: “Resolve to know more…”